I quit, I give up, nothing’s good enough for anybody else, it seems

Tonight just turned into one of those days where I wanted to give up; where hope was a dangerous thing. Where by the end of the day, I just needed a break from fighting/battling with things I ought to change (e.g. world peace). Some things maybe to give up on permanently, others to stave off until after a good night's sleep…

So I will quote from my Gilead lunch reading today, and quit until tomorrow...

“...I would advise you against defensiveness on principle. It precludes the best eventualities along with the worst. At the most basic level, it expresses a lack of faith. As I have said, the worst eventualities can have great value as experience. And often enough when we think we are protecting ourselves, we are struggling against our rescuer.” (p.154)

And being alone is the best way to be
When I’m by myself, it’s the best way to be
When I’m all alone it’s the best way to be
When I’m by myself, nobody else can say
Me, I’m a part of your circle of friends
And we notice you don’t come around...

Wear it out (the way a 3 year-old would do), melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually, anyways)

On the way back to work today at lunch, Alanis Morissette’s You Learn came on the radio, reminding me of how I was awakened on Saturday. Sometime just before 7 a.m.--possibly earlier--I was awoken by "you live, you learn, you love, you learn, you cry, you learn, you lose, you learn..." drifting descending down from above. Apparently my upstairs neighbor was awake.

I attempted to ignore it, and sleep until my alarm went off--I was getting up for morning practice at 8--but did not have much success. In some respects, it was strange, as generally music won't wake me up--the songs just become part of my dream.

Now, part of me was/still is upset, and wanted to go upstairs and tell her to turn her tunes down. The larger part, however, didn’t want to wake up that much, and so I resisted, and have let it fester inside. I’ve still not addressed it to her, yet; maybe I’m waiting for it to happen again. I will give my upstairs neighbor props, in that she did warn me she likes to listen to her music loud; I just didn’t realize it would be so early on a Saturday morning. Ironic, in some ways...

Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
What until the dust settles…
You live, you learn

It's just a little too late

Thanksgiving went well in Lauderdale. Swam in the morning, bummed around awhile before heading over to a friend's house for dinner, and after eating we played Upwards (like stackable Scrabble; a pic of the final board is at left). They were even nice enough to let me win--after messing up the board with "humid" (under "timid") and "bedeck". It was a good time.

Yesterday, I swam again and ran some errands while avoiding the after-T-Day "sale" craziness ("Black Friday" to me refers to a day the stock market crashed, by the way). I actually did venture out to Pier 1 and Target yesterday evening, though--no so much craziness then. Otherwise I just vegged, and saw the rainbow at right.

Oh, and the Horns, in the style I'm becoming accustomed to, lost 6-12 to A&M in football yesterday (National Champs last year, can't beat the in-state rival this year, and now it appears they won't play for the conference title...).

It's just too little too late
A little too long and I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little too late)

Hear the sound of the falling rain, coming down like an armageddon flame...

A little Green Day for Thanksgiving; and for a lighter reading, a recap of some former IgNobel winners...

• The Effect of Country Music on Suicide (Medicine, 2004)
• the dynamics of hula-hooping (Physics, 2004)
• Daisuke Inoue for inventing karaoke (Peace, 2004--"an entirely new way for people to learn to tolerate each other")
• the founders of Murphy's Law (Engineering, 2003)
• The effects of pre-existing, inappropriate highlighting on reading comprehension (Literature, 2001)

Otherwise, I can only report that the water at the pool is gradually warming again (it was 78 today), the air temperature is up a tad (particularly since I swam when the sun was out today), and brownies after practice are a good thing.

Have a good T-day--gobble, gobble...


I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday...

Now we are shivering, blue ice is glittering (cold, cold, cold)

Yesterday morning I was reminded of Guatemala...

My alarm went off at 5:35, I scampered out of bed to turn it off. I threw my suit and some clothes on, grabbed a bite to eat, and hopped in my car and drove to the pool. I didn't really feel the temperature until I was standing on deck--I'd mistakenly worn windpants, which weren't being very effect at block neither the wind nor the cold.

So after shivering on deck for a wee bit (5-10 minutes), I disrobed down to my suit and plunged into the water. Now, I probably actually woke up when I got in the water, which was not warm. Luckily, it was not the coldest I've ever been in, that current honor being held by Guatemala City's Zona 5 pool from early December 2002; but it was certainly reminiscent of that.

But after the initial chill upon getting in (and for the next 200/so), I got warm enough to keep going and stayed moving enough to keep comfortable for the whole hour I was in. I even managed to get 41 (long course) in, which was good... (that would be 4,100m); so all-in-all, not bad.

It was on my drive home from the pool (around 7:10) and to work that I heard the temperature: 52° (which probably meant it was in the high 40s when I got in). And it wasn't until yesterday afternoon that I heard they'd covered the pool I'd swam in to try to heat it back up: the water temperature was around 75° at noon... it's better to learn this after the fact.

Today wasn't much better, but we're were in the other pool where the water temp was up in the low 80s...

And I'll finish up this entry with a joke from Gilead:
Person 1: AB, CD goldfish
Person 2: L, MNO goldfish
(and online search produced further lines, but that's what's in the book).

hasta...


Now we are shivering, blue ice is glittering (cold, cold, cold)
Cold is the color of crystal
The snowlight that falls from the heavenly skies
Catch me and let me dive under
For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes

Fortunately you have someone who relies on you...

The weekend is a fairly quiet one, thankfully; although a bit cool. Maybe on some levels I'm still recovering from Thursday night's "meet" and team outing to Howl at the Moon (not that I stayed late: I left by 9:30 and Keith had time to corrupted me with only 1 tequila shot). As for Friday night, a cold front moved into town, brining the temperature down to a bone chilling 60 or so...

Not a ton to report really. I went to see Casino Royale yesterday afternoon with a group of ladies from the team--all the guys backed out for various reason. Casino is good, and I'll say that Daniel Craig (the new Bond) does a good job even though I'm not a good judge of acting (and I've been a tad biased toward him since his role in Tomb Raider seemed a good test for a secret agent gig... Layer Cake was an interesting turn, though). I also didn't know/realize that Casino was 2.5 hours.

Didn't really do anything else yesterday. I picked up a library card and put some stuff away (still not completely unpacked though). Read some more of Gilead, which is also good but it is reminding me of how much difficulty I have with stream-of-consciousness books--I'm muddling through it.

And now that the music here has gone from Frank Sinatra's Strangers in the Night to Green Day's Minority, I think I should be packing up and leaving. Maybe get some stuff done today--though I'm not sure what.


Time I'm sure will bring
Disappointments in so many things
It seems to be the way
When you're gambling cards on love you play

Pour some sugar on me... c'mon fire me up

For whatever reasons (maybe because I got 4 in this morning at practice), as I was driving into work today, Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar on Me came on the radio, and it was just the right time for it to be on.... I was even rocking along with the song in my car for about half of it until I recalled catching a driver one time singing along to the radio in the car in front of me, and I didn't want that to happen to me. I contained myself somewhat when I remembered that, and when I thought the Jeep behind me belonged to someone I know.

Anyways, the other items of note from this morning's drive is that apparently the Christmas radio stations begin today, or at least the local one. Which just means from now until Jan.6, I have one less radio station to which I'll be listening. It's just one of my peeves that the stations switch over before Thanksgiving, but what's even worse is they completely stop at 11:59 p.m. on 12/25. They don't ever make it to New Year's, let alone Little Christmas... makes it seem like the Christmas/holiday season just stops after the 25th--nothing more afterward. Just sad really.

So to combat said practice, I boycott those stations for the duration of their switch. It probably doesn't do any direct good, but it makes me feel better.

Well, time to jet... hasta


Listen: red light, yellow light, green-a-light go
Crazy little woman in a one man show
Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

Get shot down cause you're overzealous, play hard-to-get females get jealous...

Things I've discovered/found out/been reminded of so far this week...

• An article on the wisdom of bumper stickers.
• If you don't recognize him (like I didn't), that's a young Robert Duvall playing Boo Radley in the movie of To Kill a Mockingbird. Speaking of Mockingbird, in listening to it, I am continually reminded that "Jem and I" (which Scout keeps saying) sounds a lot like "Gemini"...
• An article on the naming of USC's basketball court after Jim Sterkel.
• Today's post would've referenced Lauryn Hill's Doo Wop (That Thing), if I hadn't already used it here. The song has been in my head of late, at least during practice, because a "Christian" has started swimming with the team (a guy with that name). His introduction yesterday caused me to sing the line used previously... and the reference was actually identified by someone in the lane next to me (amazingly). The identifier then proceeded to talk about how it was "old school" which made the adults in the water laugh--given that early 30s is actually young for the group. But the group quickly corrected what we perceived as a mistake. After all, if Ms. Hill's song is old school, what does that make the music it references???

And on that note, I will sign off so I can get some rest before tomorrow night's psuedo-meet... hasta

This here's a tale for all the fellas,
Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us,
Get shot down 'cause you're over-zealous.
Play hard to get females get jealous

It's a new world, it's a new start, it's alive with the beating of young hearts

To avoid a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, I'll chronicle here that last night I read Judy Blume's Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret (left). Yep, the entire thing in one sitting--I'm so proud of myself. (Jarret'll probably be in shock; maybe he'll even update his blog because of it.... I won't really mention that the book's just over 150 pages, nor that it's set in rather large type, nor that it's written for a teen reader so it's doesn't have monstrous words to get through. It is good though... I think I'll send it to my sister.)

And now that Margaret's read, I've moved on to Marilynne Robinson's Gilead (right)--which also, apparently, deals with religion and letters (although in this case, instead of a 11-year-old girl writing to God, you've got what appears to be a dying priest writing to his son--I'm only on page 9, so I'm not positive). Gilead has begun well, and it's cool cover helped it start off on the right foot.

And yet another reason why I like Wikipedia...



It's a new world, it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day, it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you...
Here I am

On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again

I'm in Orlando at the moment, in an ExtendedStay America on International Drive near the convention center. I drove back down here from Gainesville after the meet, to break up today's drive (and I didn't want to deal with football traffic there for today's game--yes, double entendre intended on "there").

Yesterday went well. The Texas men beat Florida in their swimming dual, and the drive up was good. I got caught in some accident-related traffic in West Palm Beach (a van flipped over on its side and closed 2 of 3 lanes of traffic), but otherwise, it was smooth sailing. I even arrived around 10 minutes before the meet started, so perfect timing. The drive was eased by me listening to To Kill a Mockingbird, also--which I'll hopefully finish up today...


Notes from the trip:

• Bumper sticker: I wish I was the person my dog thinks I am
• There are some pro-life billboards between Orlando and Ocala (stuff like life begins before birth, etc. which made me want to see a few pro-choice ones, as well).
• If one chooses to stay at ExtendStay here in O-Town (thanks Hotwire), be forewarned: there are two here on I-Drive, one right in front of the other and that look like their 2 buildings are the same, big hotel. You are most likely staying at the ES America which is in behind the ES Deluxe--and there's not really any signage to let one know that. Why they're set this way, and with what I would think is the wrong hotel in front (the one with a lower turnover rate), I don't know.
• My SunPass appears to be working (i.e. cops did not come causing after me last night when I used it).
• The snowbirds are coming! (Or at least a saw a few large, bus-sized RVs with cars being towed behind them.)
  

Well, check-out time approaches, and I should be getting back to driving...

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.

-spoken by Atticus Finch in Chapter 11, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

On the road again
Goin' places that I've never been
Seein' things that I may never see again
And I can't wait to get on the road again

Row, row, row your boat...

gentle down Town Lake (I wonder if crewÜ is out tonight...)

Ahhh, Thursday night; crewÜ sweeping night. And, alas, I'm not rowing. So instead, I'll post 2 recent articles I'm stumbled upon about rowing:

1) The end prize/purpose of a reality show currently on-air in China is to pick a male and a female cox for the China's crews for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

2) A paper in New Jersey recently ran this story about Rutger's rowing--the men's lightweight and heavyweight rowing are among 6 sports that Rutger's has announced that are cutting (men's swimming is another one, as well).


Yes, not a particularly gigantic post tonight, but I'm prep'ing to drive 300+ miles to Gainesville tomorrow to watch the Texas/Florida dual meet (and hightail it back outta Gatorland before the Florida/South Carolina football game on Saturday). So I off to get ready for that. Night.


Life is but a dream...

(crewÜ'rs, sorry for the lack of novelty, but check out the link on "life is but a dream", as well as what Wiki says on Rowing--maybe that'll make up for it, if not the wiki, then the addition lyrics of Row, Row, Row...)

C'mon, c'mon, no one can see you try...

After some initial difficulty this morning, I managed to track down my polling location and vote after work.

Now some people have wondered why more people vote for American Idol than in elections. Well, just for an example, I've watched Idol maybe once in my life, and in that show I knew exactly how and where I was supposed to vote--after just 1 viewing.

For today's election, I had to...

• investigate whether/not I needed my voter registration card to vote (I didn't--just a photo i.d.),
• find where to vote (which I didn't find on the State of Florida's website, nor on the Broward County website, but instead I found the link I needed to the page on the County site by going to the local newspaper's website--reminded me of how the most effective way to search Microsoft's site is to not use their search feature. And topping it off was the fact that the County website's mainpage, which had a news section, didn't even mention the election! There was a banner add about 3 things the County had on the ballot, but no link the the "Supervisor of Elections" plainly available, nor found in a search for "elections").
• once I got to the Supervisor of Elections site, I then managed to find my polling location based on my address, most helpful, as well as a copy of the ballot I was voting on, also helpful.

Course, I couldn't find hours for the polls, but I did manage to get there before they closed and made a semi-educated vote--not voting in some races simply because I knew nothing about who was running, and wary of just voting along party lines.

But all was better cause I got my "I Voted" sticker--so I'm happy. Now, I wanna find out how many of my friends voted today... work wasn't looking very good (only like 50% there).

This sugarcane, this lemonade, this hurricane
I'm not afraid
C'mon, c'mon no one can see you cry
This lightning storm, this tidal wave, this avalanche
I'm not afraid
C'mon, c'mon no one can see me cry

Remember, remember the 5th of November...

Nursery rhymes are an interesting thing. Most, if not all, are apparently based in historical truth, put into lyrical rhyme to help their lessons be more memorable. On some levels, they also vary by region, which would explain why I'd never heard of "Remember, remember" prior to its inclusion in V for Vendetta.

Remember's inclusion in Vendetta is rather fitting. The rhyme is the tale of Guy Fawkes's attempt to blow up British Parliament in 1605, while a plot element of the movie is to have people remember Guy Fawkes' act by recreating it.

Of course the content of Remember is rather gruesome, at least for a nursery rhyme. But, then again, aren't most nursery rhymes re-tellings of violent/disturbing things? They are retold to serve as warnings, in a lot of cases. Or to just help people remember...

(Speaking of remembering: a shout-out to the Fry...)

Remember, remember the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot

I broke a nail openin' the mail, I cursed out loud 'cause it hurt like hell...

After playing an elongated game of phone tag with UPS (and due to a non-applied shift key causing my address to have "32" instead of "#2), I managed to be at home when my new phone arrived! So it sits at home, plugged in through its adapter from its European plug, being fully charged. Hopefully I'll get it activated tomorrow, and there won't be any major issues.

Outside the phone realm, this week...

• I found out I'm probably not going home for Christmas (due mostly to the expensive plane ticket);
• the Florida high school state swimming meets are today through Saturday, causing there to be no Masters practice tonight, tomorrow evening, nor Saturday morning;
• I managed to shift some stuff around my place, so it looks cleaner (which will make my mom so happy to see, I'm sure);
• the use of non-Latin letters may "break" the Internet (letters used in Cyrillic or Arabic, for example);
• I may want to contemplate moving to Serbia;
  

and the big news:

• Bob Barker is retiring after 35 years on The Price is Right--he's been the host my entire life!
  (it might be sadder than the pink flamingo news from earlier this week...)
  

The car won't start--it's falling apart falling apart
I was late for work and the boss got smart
My pantyline shows, got a run in my hose
My hair went flat--man, I hate that (hate that)

If only I could turn back time...

Ahh, how I like Mother Goose & Grimm... Monday's comic for example:

In actuality, the recent Daylight Savings switch has gone ok (I fell back and didn't even get hurt!). Sure, I'm kinda bummed it's already dark when I leave work, but I have managed to get up and swim two mornings this week--and the sun was up during 6 a.m. practice. That's nice.

Now, if my replacement phone would get here (it should arrive Thursday and get to me maybe Friday or Monday--depending on when it's actually delivered). Oh, and it's All Saint's Day and Dia de los Muertos.

If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide
If only I could turn back time...