Hold on, to what you've been given lately...

Apparently, a telemarketing firm is either duping Caller ID machines into thinking my cell phone is calling them, or they're calling from New Jersey and the people who have called me have transposed the NJ area code (201) and mine (210). In any case AT&T doesn't know particularly what's going on (based on my call last night), and I've gotten the 3 voicemails below for some reason....

Now, I can't really re-create the emotion, tone nor speed of the calls, and for that I'm sorry. But hopefully the message is relayed through their words...

Call #1: Wednesday, October 31 at 5:01 p.m. (all times are Central)
(Female caller, speaking briskly through her rant. And, yes, she really used "freaking".)

Hi Matt. This is awful funny that I just barely got through to you and asked you to put me through to a supervisor and you hung up on me. Um, this is Sherry C_______, my telephone number is area code (802) ###-####. I've left numerous messages, and spoke to 4 people at your company about taking my freaking telephone number off the list. Now I'm on the Do Not Call, so the next call I'm making is to give you guys a fine. Yum on the do-not-call, you've been notified more than freaking 4 times, and you still are calling my freaking house.

So I'm telling you, you better get through to a supervisor, you better take my name off, cause I will be calling tomorrow, and you will be getting a freaking fine.

You guys are a bunch of morons, and I'm sick of freaking ca-contacting you people and not having anything done. I just barely spoke to a Frank yesterday, and I'm sorry for yelling at you because you're probably nobody that does it but, I did get hung up on when I asked for a supervisor. And apparently that's your guys' policy, so you guys don't have to deal with people.

I've also done the do-not freaking dial #1 so I could get off your list 4 times, and I don't have any idea what the hell is wrong with you people if you're incompetent or not, but if I get this telephone on here one more time, you guys are going to get a fine. I have caller ID and I'm contacting the Do Not Call, tomorrow at work, and I'm listing your number. And I'm telling them how many times I've called, and how many times I've spoken to people and the names. I have it all written down. You better take me off the goddamn list.

Call #2: Friday, November 2 at 6:29 p.m.
(Male caller, with passive-aggressive restraint.)

Hey listen f#!%head, this is Brad H_____. You called my f#!%ing house here about 7 different times. I don't want you to ever call here again. Now the number you called is area code (320) ###-####. Now if you ever call here again, I'm gonna come out to New Jersey and I'm gonna hunt your f#!%ing ass down. You got that you little co!%sucker. Don't call here again!

Call #3: Friday, November 2 at 11:29 p.m.
(Female caller, calm throughout and possibly with minor confusion. e.g. Despite the late hour of the call, there was no references to it being late, other than the time, which she says as if it were noon-time and not midnight.)

Hello, it's 12:27, on November 3rd. I don't know if you're trying to reach Regina Manning, this is Charlene. Ahh, if you're trying to reach Regina, this is no longer her phone number. I have no credit card, so it's not me you're calling. [A slight pause, and then she hung up.]

(This feels a little bit like "Let's Make a Deal" with Monty Hall and his 3 door options....)

(And I partially wanted to have today's subject be " 'Ring, ring, ring' goes the telephone, the lights are on but there's no one home" from Madonna's Hung Up, but I've used that already, and I'm not feeling that snarky to these people. Besides, I'm liking KT Tunstall's new song Hold On at the moment, anyways, so I've used it instead.)


Hold on, to what you've
Been given lately
Hold on, to what you
Know you got
Hold on, to what you've
Been given lately
Hold on
Cause the world will turn if you're ready or not